Profile 1
I bring you Sweet Tina.
(Created by Ben "Funny even after someone loses an eye" Limey)

"Guys have been so MEDIOCRE lately. I can't seem to find a guy that will wine, dine, and romance me like I'm a true lady! Look, guys, you're so stuck up on Sunday football now, and so neglecting and aggressive in bed that I don't know what to do! This has got to be my last resort."

Essay Questions:
Describe the type of person you might be interested in meeting:
I want a man that can tap his inner self like a hidden geyser beneath the harsh surface of the earth. I have to admit that I am a sex maniac :) *blushes* I love it all the time. So you better know how to please me!
Describe your appearance and personality:
Babe, I got everything you've ever fathomed to be sexual in your (until you see me, closed) erotic mind. I am a little goddess, waiting for you to take me. Hehe. I really think I am an attractive little thing, and I hope you will too.
Where do/did you attend high school and/or college?:
You gotta ask me for THAT information.
Where were you born? Where have you traveled? Where else have you lived?
I was born in New York. A sexy child from birth 'til now. But you gotta work to get to touch THESE breasts! j/k
Where have you met most of your friends?
All my friends are here, at my home, I love them greatly. But there aren't any boys here that can do me right! I need a REAL man.
Any additional comments?
Message me, big man! He he!

Now, as you can see, the humor value is there, but only if you know that Sweet Tina is fictional, and I'm behind all of it. Otherwise, you are going to be dumb enough to jump headfirst into the open maw, subsequently chewed up and spit out. I seemed to be quite the sensation. The goddess of all desperate online idiots, and the envy of all other women. Which will be proven in a few e-mails I have selected for your viewing pleasure.

Profile 2
Princessofpeons.
(Created by Matt "Burnz, no nickname" Burnz)

"Who do you love little man?"

What she says about herself:
I just love the sun! I like the way it glitters off my hair. I think the world is too superficial and I am looking for someone that is totally real all the way through. I am tired of being let down by people and want to be impressed again. I don't wear makeup because it is too cruel and wrong and I just hate girls that need it. I don't, which is great because then I don't need to bow to the patriarchy. And I like to swim, but only in the ocean. Maybe an indoor pool if you have one baby!

What she says about her dream mate:
I want a man's man that isn't so afraid of his feelings. I have met some guys that were so distant and that makes the relationship really terrible. I want someone that understands me when I don't want to talk about how I feel because I need space. So clingy toads need not apply. But someone fun and outgoing is the best.

Profile 3
Lovelyniceness.
(Created by Matt "Still me" Burnz)

"Better than skin deep."

In your own words:
I am great to be around. I graduated at the top of my class. I hate kids, so if you have them, either get rid of them before you talk to me or just don't bother. I like dangerous sports, like sassing my abusive boss. I am really great to be around and like staying in. I am a city girl and hate living out here with these simple guys that just don't know how to treat a lady like me at all.

Clearly Ben and I took different roads. I was trying too hard to get across that this girl was a bitch. And thus it would be expected when she talked to them that she be a horrible person. Ben did a much better job by making her a sex fiend. Not to mention that my pictures were also meant to allure the more lecherous crowd while he found someone that both of us sat around falling in love with when we saw her.