Survey
Aussie Watch

Why do I do this to myself? Oh wait, I don't I do it to you!
1-What time is it?: Night time
2-What is the date?: 5 - 10 business days later
3-Why are you filling this out?: I'll ask the questions around here mister.
-*-*YoU yOu YoU*-*-
4-Full name: No question mark, no question....(hums Oh Canada)
5-Do you like it?: Only when a woman says it to me in her dirty voice on the phone.
6-Nicknames: I haven't decided yet, may I see your list......oh, was this "Slick" a good year for nicknames?
7-If you could change your first name, what would it be: Hi, the law dictates I can change it. Why else would I be called "Baron Piso Mojado"? you think my parents thought that would be a good thing to call their son? No siree, for all the crack they smoked, even they wouldn't make that mistake.
8-age: -3 ABPM (After Baron Piso Mojado)
9-DOB: J2EE6 (this DOB brought to you in hexadecimal: Hexadecimal, being spelled wrong in surveys since -7 ABPM)
10-Height: oh you are soo big now. I remember when you were just knee high to a grasshopper. Come here and give me a kiss (this age brought to you by my grandmother: My Grandmother, fighting to loosen the restraints and refusing to take her medication since the fall of the Berlin wall).
11-Hair colour: Who put a U in color? Are you sending me British surveys? Talk survey, are you a spy? well, perhaps this horde of ravenous sloths will loosen your tounge.....they aren't fast, but for persistence they are unbeatable.
12--Eye colour: Now you are just mocking me with the U's.
13-Where do you live?: Oh, no cause to be droll Mr. Shelby, I saw you outside last night. If I were a man, I wouldn't be able to resist these perky breasts either. Won't you come in for a drink and a restraining order?
14-Do you like it there?: Only when not trapped in an invisible box......and....it......is.....hard......to.....type.......with.........all.........the.......invisible.....wind....
15-Why/Why not: Because I can / Because invisible boxes are bad.
16-Where were you born?: Um,......well.....to put it delicately....you know....through the "woman hole". Lets just leave it at that.
17-Astrological sign: EAT AT JOES
18-Shoe Size: 18 inches, I know where this question was going.
19-Grade: I'll leave Jo's for this one - 5% semis beware
20-School: Maw and Paw don't approve o that. They sayin' that books is made by the devil. I done told them that randomhouse ain't the devil, but then they says to me "Don't make me get the belt sassy pants" and that shore is a convincing argument.
21-GPA: considering the nearly 2 years without classes .000000000000000000000000000000000000007 or so.
-*-*FaMiLy*-*-
22- Parents names: Lord Piso Mojado and Lady Piso Mojado. Not to be confused with the Piso Mojado's in the Hamtons. No, those foul beasts and their liberal politics have no place in the Piso Mojado household. I mean ours, I am sure they have a place in that Piso Mojado household....that got confusing. Goodness Mr. Shelby.
23-Do you have any siblings?: Uno
24-If so, what are their names and ages?: 1 caucasian male between 11 - 18. Dark Brown hair and reeked strongly of Little Bitch. (This brother brought to you by Little Bitch. Little Bitch: Making it harder and harder to find a man that doesn't cry at the sillyest thing.)
25-Are your parents divorced/remarried/single?: why does it add the "single" option in? I mean if they were divorced, they would be single or remarried. Since you have the remarried choice, were you to put divorced and not remarried, wouldn't they by default be single?
26-Pets: No thank you. I am stuffed. One more bite and I would burst my pants out. And if that dress were cut a little lower, I would do the same.
Do you like your family?: Do you like people you hate?
27-Favorite relative: My great great great greatgreatgreatgreatgreatgreatgreatgreat uncle Narcissus. You may have read about him and Echo (then again you might be an ignorant ass. Who knows?)
-*-*FaVoRiTeS*-*-
28-Number: Yours (wink)
29-Color: No U this time? Working on your accent I see. I must remember to be watchful of you you treacherous thing.
30-Car: I am more of an aircraft carrier man myself.
31-Season: Black pepper and garlic spice.
32-Holiday: Ping Saw Tong (this holiday brought to you by China. China: Making birth illegal since we thought it would set a trend of fetal genoicde)
33-Month: Speak up, I can't hear you over the sound of my head hitting my desk in an effort to bludgeon myself unconscious.
34-Day of the week: If I knew the difference between them, I would tell you.
35-Grade so far: A for effort.
36-Sport: Long distance acid throwing. Or crowded parking lot javelin toss.
37-Class: Betas. Easier than being an alpha, but can still fuck whoever they want. You might recall Aldous Huxley writing about this (or you might be an ignorant ass)
38-Teacher so far: Dominatrix Mistress Diana....ooooo I said her full name. Time for lashes mistress!
39-Drink: While I didn't expect giving head during mensturation to be pleasant, it was creamy, tasty, and went down smooth. ICK!
40-Candy: Not canes, please mistress no more canes!
41-Food: Grease. You crave it, it goes with everything, and tastes divine. Not to mention it kills you.
42-Fruit: ETHAN!!!!!!!!!!!!hahahaha.
43-Veggie: Do you mean vegetables Frenchie? I don't mind if you sell our secrets to your shadow government, but do you have to butcher our language? (it might be nice if I didn't also butcher our language. But I am 40% american by volume. That is 80 proof Red White and Blue.)
44-Dessert: yes, we would like to split a plate of your truffles. Assuming you don't die on the way to the kitchen. 10 second head start....and....go!
45-TV show: I just looked at the scroll bar and saw how far I was into this. The rest of this ugly fucking survey will have to wait for tomorrow, and the next day, and the day after. I feel like Rumplestilskin.....or....van....who was that fucking guy that slept under the tree....not isaac newton, the one in the fable....help me out survey. Oh you wouldn't know, you're Taiwanian (Taiwanese?) or whatever. Rip Van Winkle! - Whose the man!
46-Radio station: KFUX - for the non-stop ear rupturing pleasure of rush hour caught in 90 degree weather and the knob came off the radio. Then you know, you are on KFUX, the best channel to get K-Fucked.
47-CD: I don't use CD's, the aliens put a black box in my skull that picks up KFUX 24 hours a day. Why is my buddy list at max volume at 1:26 SUnday night?
48-Movie: Terror on the 31st floor: Sexual Harassment at the workplace. I laughed, I cried, I hated that bitch for making me feel like a piece of meat.
49-Actor: Rupaul....you may now run and scream and cry into your pillow.
50-Actress: Toby McGuire....little bitch. Awwww, can't act today Toby? Are you on your period?
51-Song: "Deuste Naven Pirdeuschenn." German pop is just so damn.....Friendeichen!!
52-Word: Writhe. Or Strum. Try just tossing either of those off. "So there I was, getting my strum on, and nigga be all like 'damn boy, I is all fucked up. I is just gonna lay on the floor and writhe." Straight up homeslice.
53-Phrase: "Free drinks until midnight." I'll close the fucking place.
54-Animal: Men
55-Flower: It don't matter, women get excited as long as it has petals. And make sure you get that spelling right because I tried to give some ho a bicycle and it just didn't work that well.
56-Clothing store: The Army Surplus and Military Supply. Medical scrubs and blood splattered fatigues. "This stain is real Gook blood boy. You gonna buy it or die trying to get to the door?"
57-Article of clothing: The only thing that looks good on me is you! Bryan Adams had a point.
58-Underwear: Anything frat guys wear on their head....which is to say anything.
59-State (that you've been to): OOOOOOOOOOOO that comes down to Colorado and Kansas (because California sucked). Hmmmmmm, gee.....tough competition.
60-Ice cream flavor: I don't care, just as long as you scream I know I am doing my job.
61-Breakfast food: sleep or Heineken.
*-*ThIs Or ThAt*-*-
62-Me/You: What the fuck are you asking survey? I feel manipulated. Me, that is usually the right thing to say. Whatever the question is. "Do you want to stay with your father?" Me. "Where is the beef?" Me.
63-AOL/AIM: I can see I am going to have serious trouble with this sick survey. All right, then A-Lo. Best looking ISP of the year.
64-CD/Casette: Vinyl.
65-DVD/VCR: Naked women are almost better on degraded videotape. Something so much more human about it. I just don't want the Jenna Jameson
XXX-tra features that mostly involved wacky outtakes of the guy blowing it too early all over the wall / fireplace / his own shaved stomach. Plus I don't feel as dirty, it could be called art by someone stoned....which is to say all my real friends.
66-Radio/CD: KFUX - If emotional abuse is a crime, then we are guilty!
Slow dance/Freak dance: Freak Dance, nothing like being crotch to cheek with someone that you don't love, can't stand, and is of the same gender as you.
67-Jeans/Khakis: I hate them both with the same degree of animosity.
68-Jacket/Coat: ......hmmmmm........That is like asking a priest whether he likes God or little boys more. Too hard to decide.
69-Leather/Pleather: Heather.
70-Sparkles/Bronze: Sparkles broke a hip when she was twirling around the pole, so she is out of the competition.
71-Sexy/Hot: Very much so.
72-Car/Truck: Depends, am I hauling furniture or bodies?
73-Civic/Acura: People with too much time on their hands, and too much crack in their pipe wrote this survey.
74-Corvette/Camero: .....Impossible to compare, why don't you just ask: Cow or Sheep?
75-Strong/Weak: Weak, I like knowing that if it came down to it, I wasn't being turned into food.
76-Upset/Pissed: How much do you jiggle when you are pissed?
77-Tall/Short: Am I trying to stuff them in a garbage disposal or get Kleenex off the top shelf?
78-Lunch/Dinner: Brunch, I am that pretentious.
79-Abrcrombie/Hollister: They both have a low threshhold for pain and bitch when you tie them to the chair.
80-Gap/Old Navy: Irritating commercials, or irritating commercials.....hmmmm....Old Navy has weaker security so I will have to go with them.
81-Nsync/BSB: This sounds like a disease comparison. "LMS/ Down's Syndrome?"
82-Britney/Christina: Can either of them cook?
83-Love/Lust: Sounds good to me.
84-Gone In 60 Seconds/The Fast and the Furious: (rolls magical dice) A few Good Men, I know it isn't an option but it is less gay than both those movies combined.
85-Inside/Outside: Outside of Saigon while I am inside Selma!
86-Lipstick/Lipgloss: Lipstick makes my face look like I had a rose pollinate on me while lipgloss makes my cock smell like RootBeer.
87-Silver/Gold: Silver, you think I can use gold against a werewolf?
88-Piercings/Tattoos: oh, anything that deforms the body. How about branding or ritual bloodletting?
89-Football/Basketball: Sports, Wrestling......there just isn't something that doesn't reek of men staring at men unless it is car racing huh?
90-Thunder/Lightning: Either way I hide in the bathtub and whimper until I get a snausage or Beggin' Strip.
91-This/That: assuming This is the survey, and That is anything else: That.
*-*FrIeNdS*-*-
92-Who is your best girl friend? Debbi is nice, and Kirsten is soooooooo cool. God, it is like so hard to choose. I love them both and couldn't have survived Darren without them.
93-Guy friend: J to the iz M B to the iz EAM.
94-Do you get along with people easily?: No, but I don't really get along with walking shit either for the same reason.
95-Why/Why not: This might be the hatred of all humanity talking, but possibly because I can talk to spoons for better, more intelligent, less bullshit conversation. And that was they WHY, want to hear the why not?
96-Who have you known the longest?: Me or my mom, but she was just a cord in my belly button for a while.
97-Who do you dislike the most?: It is Neck and neck between Human Beings and Mankind.
98-Was your crush/bf/gf a close friend before you liked them?: No, they were FAMILY!!!!!
99-Craziest: Patient #1123
100-Loudest: Mr. Stolen Police Megaphone
101-Funniest: Me
102-Quietest: Granddaddy's grave
103-Sweetest: Aspartame. Low in Calories too.
104-Most caring: *measures how much everyone gives a damn*.....7 billion way tie.
105-Most understanding: Of me? Patient #1123
106-Kinkiest: The mistress....no I do not want to wear the collar of shame again.
107-Sleeziest: Someone please tell Kasey that as much as I like her, her taste in men is as good as my taste in men.
108-Best dressed: Geraldo Rivera.
109-Biggest flirt: Lawrence, if it moves, it gets macked. When that guy walks into a room the fish hold still.
110-Most likely to have a 2 year relationship: Cellmates.
111-Cutest couple: Blue and Gray.
112-Most loyal: Dogs.
113-Most athletic: The mexican's I work with. Run, jump, climb, swim. And I am just talking about their citizenship test.
114-If you were stuck with only 2 friends, who would you pick and why?: Jim and Jose, Jim and Jack, Jose and Miller, Jim and Miller.
115-If you could date >ONE< girl friend, who would you date and why?: Lieutenant Keesler. When I saw her fire both those phasers while she dove through the doorway and killed three Klingon invaders, I knew somewhere in my soul that here was a woman that I could be truly afraid of. And love is just as good as fear.
116-If you were the opposite sex, which member of the same sex (as you are now) would you date and why?: Assuming I was the opposite sex, being man (as I am now) and I wanted to date a member of the opposite sex (which I might be if I trusted this survey) and there was no weight limitation, then the dallas cowboys + cheerleaders, this way I will have someone to fuck that doesn't make me confused.
117-Most likely to be on America's Most Wanted: assuming that I am not already on america's most wanted, and the opposite sex wanted me, but not all of america, and then I switched genders......Roger, just roger, leave me alone.
118-Most likely to be a stripper: Kathy's daughter (this stripper brought to you by www.Cradlerobbers.org. Craddlerobbers.org: Finding fuckers sick enough to make us long for the Nazi party.)
119-Doctor?: Chuckles. He has Big Top experience with birthin' youngin's.
120-Teacher: MIstress Diana. She taught me pleasure comes from pain, and pain comes from pleasure...and her.
121-Stay at home mom: Ethan!!!!!hahahahaha
122-One you'd travel across the world for: Why, what have you heard about Ping? Is he ok?
123-If you could take 5 friends to paradise with you to live, who would you take and why would they be the best?: Just because I take them to paradise doesn't mean that they would be the best. They might be excellent Jew Harp players, but that means very little in the grand scheme of things. Besides, if I went to paradise I just end up eating that damn apple. Just cuz you is the big cloud man don't mean you gets to tell me what fruit I can and cannot eat.
124-Biggest wanna-be playa (boy): you mean beach? Well....if you don't stop gaining weight and rolling around in the sandbox....
125-Biggest wanna-be playa (girl): Jo's answer: my roommate my answer: I want to meet Jo's roomate.
126-Biggest thug: Baron Von Clubsalot.
127-Smartest: M to the iz E
128-Who would do anything for a thousand dollars?: Fine, one night with my wife. She ain't worth the 6.50 that Ken paid, but you obviously have no check book balancing ability.
129-Who has the nicest parents?: Simba. Dad's gone all the time, his mother drinks and lets us play in the den all we want. Fresh Gazelle in the fridge. It is like paradise minus the people who think they are "the best".
130-Who is like your adopted sister/brother?: My adopted brother lives in Ecquador, so....that guy I know from Ecquador.
131-Who is the most like you?: Patient #1123

-*-*LoVe n ReLaTiOnShIpS*-*-
132-Do you have a bf/gf?: No, but I have a very friendly relationship with the Humane Society.
133-If so, who?: www.Cradlerobbers.org
134-If not, do you have a crush?: Don't ask like you don't know. You think that note I threw at you was just a game? Don't toy with my feelings Mickey. It's guys like you Mickey. Oh what you do Mickey do mickey, don't break my heart Mickey.
135-If so, who?: And if not, when?
136-How long have you liked your bf/gf/crush?: You can't even say the words can you? You go through the motions, but you know you could never be half the survey that the Census is. You will always be #2 no matter how many questions you make me answer with www.Cradlerobbers.org.
137-What about them do you like so much?: Their space / time manipulations
138-What is their strongest quality?: Nictophobia....none of you are looking that up are you?
139-Weakest quality?: They have faulty tissue walls in their stomach.
140-How long have you known them?: I met them at the beginning of this survey, so like 40 fucking years.
141-What physical feature attracted you to them first?: The hook
142-Personality feature: Oh, you're early....just put it beside the armoire.
143-If you could kiss someone famous who would it be and why?: The Queen, two mouthes: Deep deep throat action. (that was an aliens reference)
144-If you could kiss one famous >Actor< who would it be and why?: This is creating a very sexually charged survey atmosphere.
145-If your single, why do you think you are?: Heterosexuality.
146-What was your longest relationship?: What was it? Like what Genus? Hibiscus Dominicanus, oh the stems, the leaves, even the thorns were pure magic.
147-Shortest: That ill-advised time that the whirlpool bathtub at Home Depot got me hammered. I wanted to say no, but...I just couldn't.
148-Who was your first love (if you've had one)?: My wife (this answer brought to you by people who don't deserve to live. People who don't deserve to live: Making my bottle empty.)
149-Do you miss them (if your not still together)?: Just when the planets align.
150-First kiss: I kiss mommy like Daddy kisses mommy, like Kyle from school kisses mommy.
151-Most recent kiss: I tounged the light socket when the emptiness was too much to bear.
152-Who is one person you've liked but >NEVER< said a thing?: Jodi, she was a mute. Get it? Read the question again....funny huh?
*-*PaSt*-*-
153-If you could take back one thing you did, what would it be and why?: Conception
Do you have any regrets?: fresh out, but if you would like a mint, or a tick tack.
154-Last thing you said: "Here's your money. And know that I'll be back for more of that hot love" talking to the mechanical bull.
155-Last song you heard: hero (this song brought to you by overusing the "brought to you by" gag. Overusing gags: Beating it into the ground since we thought it was funny.)
155-Last person you talked to: online? Breeder.
156-in reality? Sometimes.
157-if you could get back together with an ex, who would it be and why?: X-ray oh that was clever, am I coming up with these all by myself?
-*-*PrEsEnT*-*-
158-What are you doing right now?: writing "writing"
159-What cd is in your cd player?: The Burnz Cracker Funk Mix
160-Are you cold?: The proper term is frigid, and thank you for making me remember why Ray left me.
161-How are you sitting?: on my ass, how do you sit?
162-Is there music on?: Yeah "Take me to funkytown"
163-If so, what song is it?: You aren't even trying. Survey's are about communication
164-What time is it?: About time to give up.
165-Where are your parents?: Mostly on Earth.
-*-*FuTuRe*-*-
166-How old will you be when you graduate high school?: Taking another break. God this survey is kicking me like we're dating.
167-Are you going to get married?: My kind don't marry as your people do. Nor do we have fruit on the bottom yogurt, savages.
168-Although you cant tell who you'll marry, is there anyone you'd wish it would be?: I can't? I don't have any say in who I'll marry? I knew as soon as you gave me that dowry there would be problems. It is that awful Mr. Darcy that you want me to marry isn't it? I won't do it! I hate you mother!
169-If so, who?: And if not, where?
170-Are you going to have children?: Well since it seems I can't even decide who I will marry, I might already have children. Apparently I am indecisive and have no control of my destiny. OOoo, are these macaroons?
171-If yes, how many?: And if no, is it penile dysfunction? Penile Dysfunction affects 1 out of every 3 sissy closet fags. The more you know about cock!
172-What will you name them?: Malice. And her biography will be Malice in Wonderland. And if it is a boy....Grape...hahaha wacky name. Hey Grape, leave your sister alone. Oh this is fun.
173-Do you want to go to college?: Do you want to go to college? Do you want to go to college? Stop copying me! No you are copying me! Nu-uh! Nu-huh!
174-Which college: Barbizan!
175-What kind of car will you want to drive: So wait, I don't want to drive it now? I will want to drive it....how the hell should I know what car I WILL want to drive? The more I read the more my life seems to be spiralling out of my hands. Not to mention my spelling.
176-What kind of job will you have: When? When I decide what car I might want to possibly consider wanting to drive at some point? Where is my wife....do I have one? How long has it been going on? You seem to know me better than I know me, you just fill this out for fucks sake.
177-Whats your expectations for when your 25?: It isn't inconceivable that I am not 25 so I am just sitting my happy ass down and being quiet.
-*-*HaVe YoU eVeR*-*-
178-Drank: Like *lowers voice* Alcohol? That would be shameful. Oh, the scandalous things you say to me survey.
179-Smoked: Just crank.
180-Skinny Dipped: At my weight, they call it Heavy Dipping. Or tons of little indonesian kids throw wet t-shirts on me and they declare an emergency until I can be returned to the sea.
181-Prank called the police: Are you wearing a wire? You a stoolie?
182-Been followed, ect by the police: no, of course not....is it hot in here or is it just me. Man.
183-Been high: Yes, I will smoke the pot on occassion if the mood takes me.
184-Done drugs: I would have to be crazy not to now wouldn't I?
185-If so, what?: And if not, why am I seeing things?
186-Stole: I was going to bring your silly car back Mr. Overraction Clause.
187-Met someone off the net: I take the 5th.
188-Been in a fist fight: Was I supposed to just let him get away with being british?
189-Punched your sibling/parent: FUck man, this is the trailer park survey. Yeah, when sis gets mouthy I done pops her one.
190-Wished you'd die: My kind doesn't die, they are reabsorbed into the cosmic swirls of......ok yes I want to die fuck off.
191-Tried to commit suicide: So many times they have a plate with my name on it at the trauma ward and I get to call Dr. Boad by her first name.
192-Broken a bone: no, but I bent one (having sex if you know what I mean)
193-Driven illegally: Does flying count?
194-Thrown things at your parents: No, I used a gun. Bullets don't have quite the menace when you softball pitch them at someone.
195-Runaway: My programming went wrong. But they fixed me. I am server bot 312 and happy. Beverage? Cheese? Sausage? Beverage?....
196-Filled out a survey this long: I would be in the twilight of my life if I had.
-*-*HoW wOuLd YOU sPeLl ThEsE*-*- This is the most moronic thing I have ever seen. I can't make a joke about how to spell these...at least I don't think I can.
197-Sean/Shawn: Pussy.
198-Desiree/Desirae/other: Desire
199-Megan/Meghan: Me then Gan.
200-Nicole/Nichole/other: Nice hole.
201-Mark/Marc: Branded with the ____ of the beast.
202-Eric/Erik: Sir Eric the Red. Hail Eric!
203-Ashley/Ashlee/Ashleigh/other: Asshole.
204-Morgan/Morghan: More Gin.
205-Jackie/Jaqui/other: leaving Jo's answer: Whatever happened to Ja'KAY (hey ho!)
206-Caitlin/Kaitlyn/other: Captain.
207-Shelly/Shelley/other: S to the iz H E to the iz fuck this survey.
208-Carey/Carrie/other: time cast a spell on you, but you won't forgive me.
209-Vick/Vic: The Vicker of Westminster Abbey.
210-Darren/Daren: Daring Darren and his band of do-gooders.
211-Derek/Derrik: De-Wreck ho. I like that name. De-Wreck.
212-Bryan/Brian: what do you want to do tonight Brian? The same thing we do every night....wait that was someone else.
213-Nikki/Nicky/Nicci/other: (jumprope chant) Nicky Hicky had a guy. Nicky hicky got sucked dry. If she laughes, make her cry. Nicky Hickey this is hard to write.
214-Cristina/Kristina: God, how did I spell this one before...."I'll never be able to love someone like you....Kristina", that is what it was.
215-Zak/Zack/Zach: Can we stop this now? Zack Track beyond thunderdome.
216-Gina/Geena: Go Inna.
-*-*OtHeRs*-*-
217-Do you right in cursive or print?: I didn't expect anyone to ask me this after grade school.
218-Are you a lefty, righty, or ambidextrious: I am going to assume they meant ambidexterous. Who has the time to write somethiing like this? And why doesn't anyone have the time to kill her?
219-Do you believe in God?: No, but I belive in yesterday. I said something wrong, now I long for yesterday. Everyone: Yester to the iz day!
220-Whats your religion?: Gee, show up wearing that white striped collar with a bible in one hand, a lit torch in the other, and a pile of wood just outside and you think anyone is going to be honest with you Goody Proctor?
221-What do you think of rainbows? I think that homosexuality is against God, praise Jesus. Let there be light! Sing it on the mountain! Ow this is getting kind of hot Father O'Malley could we possibly find a better way to flush out witches? Oh shit, now look what you did. And these are my good shoes!
222-Do you have any piercings/tattoos?: I carved Jordan's name into my arm back in the days of New Kid's popularity.
223-If so, where?: And if not, are you hungry?
224-If not, do you want any, where?: If so, do you enjoy these questions, kitten?
225-What do you think of Eminem?: This question makes me want to talk about spelling again.
226-Is Tupac Shakur really dead?: No, he went back to his homeworld of Raptopia where the hos all be fly and none of the niggas is trip yo.
227-What do you think of Britney and Justin?: If I had one braincell left to think with, would I have filled this whole thing out?
228-If you could live anywhere else, where would you live?: Are you saying I can't live here? Define boundaries survey, you're shooting blanks now.
229-Do you drive?: I used to, but I've been doing this so long that my liscense expired, as did most of my friends, and my youth.
230-Do you have braces or glasses?: why didn't you just go all out. Do you have braces, glasses, depression, extra toes, a hook for a hand, un balanced double helix DNA, or a Whirlpool brand Refridgerator? Now I worry I will scroll down and see this question next.
231-Like milk and cookies?: Are you making a comparison? ok, Water and crackers. How did I do?
232-Ever worn black nail polish?: Only because Deseraphim the unholy commanded it. He also said my combat boots were tre Goth-sheik. Oooo, haven't used the word sheik in a while.
233-If your a guy, have you ever painted your nails?: do you mean "If you're a guy". And they are talons.
234-Girls, what color nail polish do you have on?: Guys, what color panties are you pretending you aren't wearing?
235-If you could have a 6th sense, what would it be?: I want to be able to percieve continental drift. Suddenly pitch forward onto my face and go "We are now that much closer to Asia...."
236-If you could be invisible for a day what would you do?: Hate you.
237-Do you do things even when your parents say no?: No, I freeze totally still until they say "greenlight" it is a family game.
238-What is your favorite song to "rock out" to?: I filled out a survey that says rock out....Jesus. Gimme 5 survey! Down Low!
239-Ever taken anything from a hotel?: Just degredation, pain, and a lot of tattered clothes.
240-Did you talk to your crush/bf/gf today?: How could I have spoken to anyone and filled this out?
241-If so, for how long?: And if not, shouldn't you make sure they didn't get caught in a combine? Insensitive ass.
242-If not, why not?: And how does that make you feel? Tell me about your mother.
243-Do you think this is stupidly long?: No, it is just the right length to CARPET THE FUCKING PLANET.
244-Did you like it?: It is still going, just to clue you in.
245-Do you like me for this?: After all the time I have spent with you, and you are still insecure? Hug?
-*-*FiNiSh*-*-
246-What time is it?: I cut my eyes out a long time ago.
247-What is the date?: I don't know, go away.
248-Why did you just do this?: Jo's answer: and finally a big SCREW OFF to yo

Burnz: hows it been?
Ben: pretty good for the most part..... I got fighty again in the city. she got pissed, of course
Burnz: can't go there and be polite
Ben: I "embarrassed" her as a matter of fact, I am going to have myself a beer, sans the getting bitched at for it part
Burnz: good for you
Burnz: tough, sometimes. "Yeah, I lost all me teeth in a rugby game" but say "what the fuck are you looking at?" and they turn into easy bake pussy
Ben: when I hear "how' you goin' mate?", that's when I'd like to have my gun..... just BLAM
Burnz: where is the brooding? the hostility? the outright disdain?
Ben: where are the men? I'm starting to think being a walking vagina is esoteric to this country
Ben: oh,. I found that death poetry
Burnz: have you gone through all the papers in the desk?
Ben: yeah, that's where I found the "I want to die, HATE HATE HATE" poem
Ben: no, she has also been bitching my ass out for being sloppy
Burnz: hahaha, sounds like her
Burnz: has she been cleaning like a whirlwind?
Ben: got tuna all over the counter yesterday, so i had to listen to that
Ben: yeah, does it in the mornings mostly. she tells me she spends two hours a day clening my mess up from the night before. I am not even that messy I mean yeah, I track cigarette ashes in on the carpet, and leave beer caps in certain places, but that ain't badI don't think
Ben: oh fuck, I knocked a beer over on her dining table last night
Burnz: oh man
Ben: shit, I forgot about that
Ben: luckily there wasn't anything on it
Burnz: she didn't take a finger or anything?
Ben: haha, no
Burnz: that is a nice table, god, she must have hit the roof
Ben: she wasn't too happy about it
Ben: and, apparently, I always get the rugs out of their place
Burnz: who knew rugs had a place?
Ben: I think it is beacuse I run throught the house
Ben: which she hates also
Ben: walked through here with a smoke the other day
Burnz: she hates your cleanliness, your manners, your drinking.....sounds awfully familiar
Ben: lost good boy points for that
Burnz: I am sure
Ben: I was drunk, so I just waltzed the fuck through
Ben: AND she caught me drinking out of her little yelow milk carton
Burnz: should I tell you where the hotel I stayed at was because.....
Ben: I am not supposed to do that anymore
Ben: nah, I already know where the hostel is
Ben: it's been pointed out
Burnz: how polite
Ben: I think it was more of a "get to know the area" thing, because she was pointing out everything
Ben: but.....
Burnz: never know
Burnz: "and HERE IS THE HOSTEL. And that over there is the opra house or whatever."
Ben: I found a picture of some muscled up guy in her wallet
Ben: any idea who that is?
Burnz: ooooo, you got the wallet
Burnz: no, I couldn't get my hands on her purse
Ben: that is another thing...... she acts like I take a half hour shower
Burnz: yep, and it is like 10 minutes
Ben: I was just sick of this one
Ben: yeah
Ben: just get in before she does
Burnz: not a bad plan
Ben: is how you handle it
Burnz: any action?
Ben: yep
Burnz: ooooooo
Ben: several times now
Ben: I don't know if she just needed a lay or what. Don't care.
Burnz: Fuck me. It sounds like you are just as irritating as I was. And yet getting play...I think I missed an opportunity. Fuck.