December 25th
Setting our sights on sites.

Burnz: PUSSY!!!!!!!!!!
Ben: you goddamned cocksucker!
Burnz: gotta make a living
Ben: what the fuck are you doing?
Burnz: just jacking off and eating nachos
Burnz: and boy are my arms tired
Ben: jacking off? I thought you were catholic
Burnz: I feel really bad about it
Ben: and you should. Getting your rocks off in the confessional. The virgin mary... well, I guess we can do away with the adjective since YOU got ahold of her
Ben: I think I am 'bout to break out a drink
Burnz: lucky man. I am about to not.
Ben: you've probably had your fill anyway
Burnz: for the time being. But I like to play catchup
Ben: this motherfucker on sixsixfive.com is pretty much the most unfunny bastard (under the impression that he is) that I've ever seen in charge of a website
Ben: and what's more is that he tried to do personal ads like we did, only much much shittier
Ben: and I am going to write his ass about the blatant stealing of ideas
Ben: unless he had the idea first in which case he can suck it
Burnz: I wonder if he knows his website is gay
Ben: I'm sure he does
Ben: hot and gay
Burnz: this site sucks. I hate this dude
Burnz: my site is way uglier than his site. What the fuck. He thinks orange text makes him a big man?
Ben: do you think I LIKE it any better?
Burnz: no, that is true, I am sure your hatred is just as intense as mine
Burnz: I was doing Purple and Orange chat conversations when he was still suckling at his mother's false penis
Ben: it is irritating me. The whole ripoff
Ben: orange text, personal ads claiming to be female
Ben: "Sittin' under a tree
Drinkin' pee.
Swatted off a bee
Drinkin' pee.
Went indoors at three,
Drinkin' pee.
Watchin' the TV,"
I want to kill him
Ben: seriously
Burnz: my lord. I've vomited prettier things. He doesn't deserve to be on the same internet as us
Ben: I bet he is patting himself on the back because of the whole edginess of being one number away from 666
Burnz: well, little flexibility and he won't have to call his boyfriend anymore
Burnz: just got to one of the personals.....this is unacceptable
Ben: by "boyfriend" do you mean his Gi Joe with the kung fu grip?
Burnz: that would be ok, I just wish he didn't dress Joe up in the Barbie prom dress
Ben: and sticking his dick in the dream house has really put him over the line
Burnz: Ken can't have poker nights anymore, too much cum in the den
Burnz: they speak often of the coming of the great spitting worm and the havoc it wreaks
Ben: ken has other things to worry about, like being firmly planted in the anus of a certain webmaster
Burnz: "no dude, it is ONE NUMBER from 666"
Burnz: "like, right before the devil"
Burnz: "I am going to get HELLA traffic"
Ben: my thoughts exactly
Burnz: jesus...ugh
Ben: the bad part is that he's obviously spent a large chunk of time on this subpar shit
Burnz: to be fair, it gave the dogs he keeps getting from the animal shelter a break
Ben: where are the 14 year old hacker fucks when you really need them?
Burnz: now that is a good question
Ben: "DUDE uve been 0wnZ3r3d. w00t!"
Burnz: "I h4xx0r3d j00!"
Burnz: "b0w t0 my 4cn3 r1ddled sk1llz"
Ben: "nuk3 nuk3 I s3t U up the bomb" (Ahhh, nostalgia)
Burnz: "h0w R U g3nt1em3n n0w????!!!!"
Burnz: pardon me, g3ntl3m3n, I don't speak l337 very well
Burnz: I suppose it would be g3n713m3n
Burnz: damn, that is rough on the eyes
Ben: wut? U d4r3 challenged me? I'll... oh, hi mom, I was uh. STOP BEATING
Burnz: i7 i5 my b3dtim3 n0w, ph34r!!!
Ben: you know, his chat pranks are pretty fucking stupid too
Burnz: I haven't hit those yet
Ben: can you say "drakeon"? (And evil haXX0r child Ben and I encountered before)
Burnz: not without pissing blood later
Ben: ph34r my sk1lls, i type f4st lik3 a bitch
Burnz: "dud3, h4v3 U 3v3r t34m h4xx0r3d?"
Ben: you know, something awful is sucking a hercules sized cock now, as well
Burnz: it has ate shit
Burnz: lowtax let that ho of his post
Ben: I know, she was the worst possible candidate.. that is what pussy will do to you
Burnz: I can only assume he is slipping the keyboard through the bars of her cage
Burnz: brain leaks out every 3rd ejaculation or something
Ben: really though, I doubt I could bring myself to ejaculate into such a thing
Burnz: oh, oh, oh. And check this out
Burnz: you will never guess who done IMed me the other day
Ben: who?
Burnz: snakebite sarah
Burnz: remember that twat?
Ben: yeah, the crazy crazy from maryland
Ben: what the hell did she want?
Burnz: she was worried that my life might not suck. So she thought she would make sure it did
Burnz: just to chat, catch up a little
Burnz: say she missed me and some shit
Burnz: "dud3 I w4s 1ik3 wtf???"
Ben: is she still spilling out the sexual innuendos at you?
Burnz: she did for the brief conversation, yes
Ben: she was all about getting her some Matty cock, from what I remember
Burnz: she needed the treatment. Apparently she wants to walk bowl-legged
Ben: you considered going there at all?
Ben: much cheaper pussy, along with probably being of higher quality
Burnz: I will totally agree with cheaper
Ben: actually, I think the bitch needs to come to you
Ben: the problem is that she's blatantly insane
Ben: she holds it out like a trophy
Ben: god, she hated my ass, too
Burnz: now that is a plan. Make her earn the Burnz Worm
Ben: damn straight
Ben: tell her you got a place for her to stay, and maybe an "after I whip my dick out of your ass" cigarette
Ben: of course, the last time somebody took any advice from me they ended up with a life partner named Tyrone
Ben: only if I could find a way to wed myself to a bottle of scotch
Burnz: ahhhhhhh, that would be lovely.
Burnz: "you are the only thing that makes me truly happy"
Ben: yeah, and "you even give me a chance to talk to the local law enforcement, which I normally wouldn't be able to do considering my busy busy schedule"
Burnz: hey, it is good to stay in touch with your community
Ben: unless it is with a motor vehicle
Burnz: man, you clearly haven't seen my community
Ben: that bad, eh?
Burnz: I pray for holocaust
Burnz: and not just because it would do good things to property values
Burnz: I am not yet over how funny this 665 dude isn't
Ben: yeah, he is damningly pathetic