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| Ben: fuck, I just realized
byrd is on, has that little wiccan messaged you yet? Burnz: nope Ben: well good, I haven't seen that bitch in ages, and I am hoping she doesn't spread any "love" Burnz: she'll explain to you the will of the goddess earth mother Ben: yeah dude, last time I saw her, I had her convinced that I was a white nationalist, and that mexicans epotomized societal depravity Burnz: that isn't true? Ben: I guess the teachings of Morpho, the God of grass, disagreed Burnz: actually morpho is the god of hi fidelity sound Ben:oh really?..... I think an 8 track was considered hi-fi at the time Ben: shows how much they know Burnz: might be, they have like 400 gods. That would piss me off, I couldn't shower without bumping into one Ben: yeah I know, god of powder puffs, goddess of the water molecule...... fuck all of them Burnz: "pardon me Seraphim, could you hand me the body wash?" Ben: excuse me, Foromepheus, I need to exfoliate..... Burnz: "where is the god of loofah? I am peeling here? And bring the god of rubbing loofahs on me in here" Ben: yeah really.......... and where is the goddess of sucking me off? Burnz: and her identical twin Goddess of waving a palm frond on the goddess of sucking me off. Boy, that could get complicated. Whole family trees of gods. this one sucks me off, this one holds the spit cup, this one holds the cape of the one that holds the spit cup. You would have to have goddess nametags Ben: and the goddess of cleaning all that shit up Burnz: I bet they have big picnics. Hi I am Meris, I clean all that shit up. Eat food from the goddess of bringing food to the god picnic Burnz: I need to stop before I strain something Ben: yeah, "hello, my name is Nimke, the goddess of spanking the goddesses' ass in an erotic fashion while she cleans shit up" Ben: women just piss me off now Ben: all of them Burnz: here at the church of wicca, if we were to stack all our gods up, they would reach jupiter Burnz: what did one do now? or was that a general statement? Ben: the thing is, they all do the same thing Burnz: I just tried to burn a splinter out of my hand....I think I need to find some tweezers. They do. It is like they have a handbook Ben: last one I was "with" just constantly fucking called my house, and it was always shit like "you're seeing other girls, I know it" Burnz: and you were like "so?" Ben: yeah well Burnz: they are almost all insecure, the younger they are the worse it is and then they go to overbearing bitch. There is very little time when they are worthwhile, and they are asleep for it Ben: I know, try to tell you what you can and can't have..... then they give you the "other guys want me, i have turned down other guys for you" so fucking what? go have them Burnz: just go"why?" Ben: i can find another little skank just like you Burnz: yeah, I will get the cookie cutter and in 30-45 minutes have another you cooling on top of the stove Ben: haha, exactly Burnz: I wonder if 911 is toll free |
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